On Saturday, despite AWFUL stomach cramps, I had brunch with my friend Josh, his mom (who was visiting from Ohio), and some of our friends. She was full of interesting stories from her colorful (read: extremely liberal) life.
After that I joined my friend Mike in Central Park with his boyfriend Anthony and some of his friends. It was a gorgeous day and felt so good to be outside doing something I always do in the spring and summer. It put me in a great mood, and I didn't let the stomach cramps or anything related to cancer ruin my day!
On Sunday, I decided that I needed a makeover, and it was time to go clothes shopping for the first time in 4 months! This time, it wouldn't be to buy the "chemo sheik" items, but rather to rediscover myself and my attitude. I decided that I needed to stop looking in the mirror and seeing myself as "cancer patient" and start seeing myself as "Ryan" again. I needed to rediscover who "Ryan" is. So I embarked on a spree throughout Soho, picking out pieces that reminded me of who I am and who I will be when this is all over. (Ok, so I splurged on some... it's therapy!)
After my day shopping, I met up with my best friends Mike and Matthew (and their respective significant others) for a great dinner at Agua Dulce, a Brazilian/South Beachy restaurant in Hells Kitchen that I'd never been to before. Again, a dinner like this is an activity I would normally do, and helped me feel "normal" and not "cancer patient"-ish. The restaurant was great, we had a blast, and it really left me on a high.
I felt physically great on Monday and Tuesday at work and managed to achieve some goals that left me feeling accomplished (always a good emotion).
And tonight, I had one of the most AMAZING nights I've had in a long long time! A client of mine, the Director of Sales at the Carlyle Hotel, invited me to be her date for the opening night of Judy Collins' new cabaret show at the hotel. For the first time in months, I got dressed up in suit and went to work (and it felt GREAT!) My "date" wasn't feeling so well this morning when I called her. She told me to find a friend to bring in her place so that I could still attend and enjoy the evening. My friend Natalie came, and we had a blast! Judy Collins has a voice that's effortless, expressive, and haunting. She really told some beautiful stories with her songs! It was an intimate cabaret show (maybe 80 people in the restaurant), and we were surrounded by celebrities like Al Pacino, Candace Bergan, and Betty Buckley (who was super nice and chatty with us). And the food was fantastic (I had the lamb chops, which melted in my mouth). The whole night came off magical (and free!) I walked home from the subway feeling like a million bucks, which is the first time I've felt that way in a long, long time.
I know I have a chemo treatment coming on Friday, and 3 more after that... and I know I'll face more tough days ahead. But with a new attitude and a reconnection to who I am (ok, and some new clothes and a free celebrity filled event), I'm much more confident facing those challenges. It's not just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, it's seeing me there too. It's rebuilding my life (maybe a little early) and celebrating it. It's being grateful that after months of bad days, I'm finally having some good ones again!
Great story :)
ReplyDeleteI miss you
Sad I can't be there during this challenging time, but it's nice to hear you're being taken care of by friends.
Dear Ryan, Thanks for sharing the picture and the story. It sounds like a good few days. I hope the days since have been good for you. And it sounds like you have some great friends.
ReplyDeleteLife in DC is good. I'm working too much - nothing new there except that I have told my boss I won't continue in this mode. And I think she believed me. We are on for a bike ride tomorrow, dinner with a South African newspaper person and a museum visit.
Best,
Katherine Kidd